The end is nigh....

Well, not really nigh but I'm definitely on the downslide. Most of the time these days I feel tired, fat, unattractive and depressed. (Isn't this a cheery note?) In some ways this time in life (meaning "the change" will soon be upon me) feels almost like the 7 stages of grief...denial, pain, anger, depression, the upward turn, reconstruction and ultimately, acceptance. In my case, I've already experienced the denial, the pain (or fear), I've been totally pissed off and now I'm at the depression stage. All this and the big event isn't even here yet. I'm really hoping that once menopause is here and over I'll get a new lease on life. As it stands now, I'm glad I have a dog so I can go kick her once in awhile (kidding, of course!)

But as it stands now, I feel like I go through most days in a fog. I'm forgetting even the most simple words, can't hold a thought for even a few moments. It's like my brain is swimming in a toxic chemical soup. It's really quite disconcerting....I've always been so sharp and focussed.

If anyone has any suggestions for helping me get through this, I'd be happy to hear them.

Portland in spring

This is why we love Portland. After the months of snow and rain and MUD...hope springs eternal in the form of a flowering weeping cherry. As you can see, all the other trees in the area are still leafless but the cherry tree is having none of that. This tree is just around the corner from us and is one of our "heritage" trees (meaning the owner of the house can't cut it down and install astroturf). It was planted probably close to 100 years ago and is still going strong. Spring, summer and fall in Portland are wonderful. Now if only winter wouldn't last so long....